


You Made Me Come Undone

by So_Very_Tired



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Ann is a terrible singer, F/F, Masturbation, Useless Lesbians, awkward bathhouse trip, i know it in my heart, just some good old yearning, lesbian longing, who needs things like plot or conflict
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:46:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_Very_Tired/pseuds/So_Very_Tired
Summary: Makoto never really thought of herself as someone who had time for a social life. Before joining the Phantom Thieves, anyway. Now she's found herself hanging out with Ann Takamaki, against all odds. And Ann is just kind of a physical person with her friends - lots of hugs, lots of arm touches, lots of holding hands. There's nothing wrong with that, right?Makoto's getting used to it. Maybe even coming around to liking it. Until the night Ann kisses her. And Makoto has absolutely NO idea how to deal with that.
Relationships: Niijima Makoto/Takamaki Ann
Comments: 11
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Finally played P5R and oh no look at that I'm shipping again.
> 
> Can't believe Ann and Makoto didn't get a Showtime. How can you do us dirty like this, Atlus?
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy! Takes place from the end of the third palace and over the course of the fourth palace.

Saturday, 7/16

Makoto Niijima had never actually been inside a karaoke room.

She’d been surprised when Ann suggested it. Apparently the whole crew had come here about a month ago, back when...well, back when Makoto was in the middle of attempting to blackmail them.

Her eyes dropped at the thought, darting away from Ann’s striking blue eyes and fleeing instead to some nothing spot in a dark corner. Ann seemed not to notice or care, bending down low and belting out words at the top of her lungs, both hands gripping the microphone tight.

“Doooooooooooooooon’t start not belieeeeeeeeeeeeeving!” she yelled, not quite on key, “Never don’t not feeeeeeeeeeeeeel your feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings!”

Ann wasn’t...she wasn’t a  _ great _ singer. Makoto couldn’t have cared less, watching her new friend sing. Ann was smiling the whole time, beaming, giving it her all no matter how many notes the screen told her she’d missed.

Her friend. Ann was her friend now. Makoto still had trouble with that sentence whenever it popped into her head, as it seemed to be doing quite a bit lately.  _ Ann Takamaki _ was her  _ friend _ now.

It had all happened so fast. Makoto could still remember, oddly clearly, when she had sort of kind of hated Ann Takamaki.

And yet here she was, the only member of Ann’s audience. She sat alone on the velvety couch of the dark karaoke room, hands held stiff on her lap, fingertips scratching on her uniform skirt.

Ann was singing to her -  _ for  _ her, really. And her alone. It felt odd, sure, but then again Makoto always felt sort of odd, going out with people. Hanging out. Hanging out with  _ friends _ , like some kind of perfectly normal high school student. But Ann had assured her that this was a perfectly normal thing two friends would go and do.

It would be fun, Ann said. Kaneshiro was defeated and exams were finally over, Makoto,  _ come on _ , we can finally just  _ relax _ for a little bit, there’s nothing to worry about!

And Makoto had blushed a little and felt weird about it, because of course she always felt a little weird about hanging out with Ann, dropping her eyes and nervously brushing some hair behind her ear.

But she couldn’t say no. That was pretty much impossible, had been ever since Ann had apologized with a great big dramatic bow and then invited Makoto out for crepes.

So here she was, sitting stiff and straight-backed on a huge, empty couch, watching as Ann trailed off into one long, final, hilariously off-key note. Her friend ( _ My friend, Ann freaking Takamaki is my friend now gosh wow _ ) struck a pose worthy of the cheesiest of idols, winking and throwing Makoto a peace sign.

Makoto felt herself clapping, felt herself  _ giggling  _ and couldn’t help it. That was one of the really special things about her new friend - that Ann Takamaki magic was infectious, irresistible, a never-ending overflow of enthusiasm that you just couldn’t help but be swept away by sometimes.

The screen at the front of the room was immune, though. It played a buzzer as red letters spelled out FAIL, trailing off with a sad, pathetic trombone.

“Oh, what?!” Ann said, angrily batting away one of her pigtails. “Booooo! That was perfect!”

“I thought it was...great,” Makoto said, only half-lying. “Maybe the machine is broken?”

“Aww, you’re so sweet!” Ann said, running over and pulling Makoto to her feet. “Come on, we only have a few minutes left on the room! One more! Duet time!”

That was another thing that Makoto was still getting used to - how  _ physical  _ Ann was. How she never hesitated to grab Makoto’s hand or touch her on the arm, how she sidled up close to Makoto’s side when they sat next to each other. Again, a perfectly normal thing that perfectly normal teenagers did. Makoto saw other girls do that to each other all the time.

It was just another item on the long list of perfectly normal things that Makoto wasn’t used to, at all. If she was being honest with herself, she kind of sort of hated the way her own body went stiff at times like this, elbows tucked in close at her side as Ann held one arm around her, her slim and pretty hand resting on Makoto’s hip.

“What about this one?” Ann said, clicking through a small screen at the front of the room. “Ugh, no, too long. Ooh, do you like that one?”

They were all pop songs that Makoto didn’t recognize. She may have recognized them once they played, she supposed, half-remembered from when she’d overhear them on TV or maybe from other students on occasion. It had been like this for the last hour, Ann dancing and going wild singing the latest hits that Makoto had to admit she wasn’t exactly familiar with.

Ann gasped at her side.

“Okay, promise you won’t make fun of me?” she said. Before Makoto could say anything, she pointed at the screen. “We  _ have  _ to do that one!”

Makoto looked down. Her eyes shot open wide, catching a gasp in her throat before it could escape.

“I know, I know, it’s really cheesy and lame…” Ann said, biting her lip and jabbing the  _ play  _ button with one perfectly-manicured finger. “But I reeeeeeeeeeeeally love it anyway!”

Makoto knew this song. It was cheesy. It was lame.

But she also really, really loved it.

It had been on the radio more or less continuously a few years ago. Makoto remembered hating it at first, passionately in a hollow and fake sort of way. Turning her nose up at the saccharine nonsense her classmates were wasting their time with.

And then she’d found it stuck in her head. Over and over, sneaking in when she least expected it, finding herself humming it while she was studying and then muttering the lyrics under her breath. She had to convince herself that she was downloading it onto her phone just to make it easy to listen to when it was stuck in her head - that would make it easier to get it unstuck, right?

She still listened to it all the way through when it came up on shuffle, nervously hiding the screen and double-checking that the audio was only playing through her headphones.

“Come on, Makoto!” Ann said, pushing a microphone into her hands. She pulled Makoto to the center of the sad little strip of tiles that passed for a stage in the room. “I’ll start, okay?”

Makoto nodded, gripping the mic in her hands for dear life. This wasn’t embarrassing. She wasn’t embarrassed. Ann was already bouncing on her feet, taking a deep breath and waiting to pounce on the words the moment they scrolled onto the screen.

“Friday night, we’re gonna party ‘til dawn!” Ann sang, eyes closed, belting it out at the top of her lungs. “Don’t worry daddy, I’ve got my favorite dress on!”

Ugh, those lyrics. Just  _ awful _ .

“You can do it!” Ann said, resting one hand on Makoto’s forearm. It shocked Makoto into remembering she was supposed to be singing.

“...We just keep dancin’ we don’t care what they say…” Makoto sang, low and uneven.

“Yes! Yes!” Ann said bouncing at her side. “Boys are a booooore, let’s show them the dooooooor…”

Makoto joined in early, “We’re taking over the dance floooooooooor!”

She couldn’t help it, even a little bit - she  _ loved  _ this song, especially this part where it rose up to the first chorus. Ann lit up next to her, her smile growing impossibly huge as they hit the chorus together.

“Ohhhhhhhhhh-oh, girls do what we like!” they sang together, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh-oh, we’re takin’ over to-night!”

Ann turned to face her as they kept going, slapping Makoto’s forearm as they sang. The girl was  _ overjoyed _ , grinning like an idiot every moment she wasn’t singing.

Makoto tried not to stare. She closed her eyes and let herself sink into the song, her voice growing louder and louder until she was practically screaming along with Ann, every word and beat tattooed in her memory so deeply that she didn’t have to think, no space left for her embarrassment to creep in.

God, it was fun. Makoto had never  _ sang _ this awful song before, never shouted it at the top of her lungs, never enjoyed it any more loudly than she could hide. Ann was completely shameless next to her, crooning like the whole world was cheering for her off-key, tonedeaf attempt at singing and it was gorgeous, beautiful in a way Makoto couldn’t even begin to describe.

Her heart was pounding. If she hadn’t so recently discovered how much a part of her loved  _ fighting _ , Makoto would’ve had nothing to compare it to.

“Taking over toooooooooooonight!” they finished together, both gasping for breath as the song’s cheesy midi version finished, something close to a guitar riff echoing into the empty room behind them.

“Makoto!” Ann said, slapping her on the shoulder. “That was soooooooo good! I didn’t think anybody else still liked that song!”

It was suddenly very, very hot in the small room. “Yeah, I...uh...it’s pretty good…”

“It’s like my  _ favorite _ . I used to do the dance from the video every day until…”

Ann stopped short as a drumroll played from the big screen at the front of the room. It lit up, the sound of cheering blasting at them as the word PERFECT! flashed on screen.

“Wait, what?” Makoto said.

Ann squealed and jumped up and down, boiling over into actual screams of excitement. “Aaaaaah! Makoto! We nailed it!”

That feeling swelled up in Makoto’s chest, like standing over the battered remains of a shadow and shaking the tension out of her fists. The pride of victory, a deep and powerful thrill that she’d only really felt coursing through her in the metaverse. Until now, anyway.

“Aaaaaaaah!” Ann screamed again, grabbing Makoto’s hands. “Yes! I’ve never gotten a perfect before! Aaaaaaaaaah!”

Before Makoto knew what was happening, Ann had swept her up in a wild, spinning hug, a thick blonde pigtail bouncing into her face over and over again. It really was infectious sometimes - Makoto felt herself smiling, huge and dumb and unable to help it, pumping one fist up in the air as they spun and hopped and gushed alone together in the dark karaoke room.

When Ann finally stopped and pulled back from the hug, she didn’t let Makoto go. Her arms were hanging gently over Makoto’s shoulders, and at some point, somehow, Makoto had rested a hand on Ann’s waist, much less stiff and formal than she usually did.

It was nice, having a friend. Maybe Makoto wasn’t used to being...close, like this. But she could get used to it. It felt nice, after all.

Ann was staring at her. Smiling, in an...odd sort of way. In a way Makoto hadn’t seen her do before. Normally Makoto tried hard not to stare at Ann’s eyes, unusual and blue and breathtaking as they were.

_ Breathtaking? Where did that come from? _

She was still staring. They were both still staring, for mere fractions of a second that felt like years. Definitely weird now, definitely too long, definitely time for Makoto to clear her throat and apologize and look away and--

Ann kissed her. It was fast, a sudden dart of lips onto Makoto’s lips, a quick peck that lingered juuuuuuuuuust long enough for Makoto to really feel the breathless gasp cutting in her throat. Makoto didn’t even think to close her eyes, instead feeling them shoot open so wide they were bugging out of her face.

When Ann pulled back and opened her eyes, they were half-lidded and sultry, dazed in a very inviting sort of way.

At first.

Ann jerked back as she saw Makoto, stiffening up and yanking her hands away.

“Oh!” she said, taking a step back and sort of cringing into herself, fingers tapping awkwardly together. “Sorry, I...um…”

Makoto had crashed a motorcycle once, back when she was practicing for the license test. Doing loops around an empty parking lot, pushing her speed a bit too hard through a turn when she got scared and tapped the brake, feeling the wheels skid out from under her and then sliding painfully across the asphalt. Speeding along one second, enjoying the wind and the thrill, and then suddenly feeling her heart leap into her throat as panic dumped into her veins.

Not that she was remembering this for any particular reason, of course.

“Just got kind of carried away I guess?” Ann said, blushing fiercely. Her pale face was entirely red, one eye closed as she winced through more words. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to, uh...make you...uncomfortable?”

Makoto’s hand was still resting on thin air where Ann’s waist had been. She blinked herself out of shock, averting her eyes and doing that same damn thing she always did, brushing hair back past her ear. “Umm...right. Yes. Sure. It’s okay.”

“It’s okay?” Ann said, flickering back to life a little.

“Is it?” Makoto said. “Sorry, you know I’m new to this whole...being social...thing. Is that...something girls do?”

“Oh. Oh! Right,” Ann said, laughing in a way so awkward and forced it barely sounded like her. “I mean, I like to hug you and stuff, but that...yeah. Maybe that was kind of...um...too much?”

“...Maybe?” Makoto said, immediately feeling bad and wrong and awful for saying it.

“Oh. Okay. Sorry. Again!” Ann said, shrinking into herself once more. She stared down at her toes, her hands fidgeting with the blue sweater tied around her waist. “I just really really love that song!”

“...me too,” Makoto muttered, barely above a whisper.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Makoto said. The small light by the door turned on, blinking at them. “Looks like our time is up. Should we call it a night?”

Ann opened her mouth to say something, trying and failing to pull her eyes away from the floor.

If the room had felt hot before, it was positively volcanic now, suffocating in a way that Makoto had to get away from. Now.  _ Now. _

“Sorry, but if I come home late again, Sae’s going to kill me,” Makoto said.

“Ha, I know,” Ann said, “I’m such a bad influence, keeping you out all night.”

She was smiling again, the crimson of her blush fading away. But Ann’s goofy smile was forced, strained and scared.

Makoto grabbed both their bags from the huge empty couch, holding Ann’s out to her. Ann - Ann Takamaki, her new friend - reached out for it slowly, cautious, careful not to let their hands touch.

Something about that hurt. For some reason.


	2. Chapter 2

Saturday 7/31

Makoto climbed up a long set of stairs out of the subway, rising into sticky, humid heat. Yongen-Jaya was just as horribly hot as Shibuya had been, the air just as stuffy as it had been when she’d left home.

She was already sweating. Awful. Not that Leblanc was going to be much better. The place seemed old, small and cozy but definitely too old for any kind of air conditioning.

So why was she currently walking through the backstreets of Yongen-Jaya? The apartment had air conditioning. She could have stayed home, nice and cool, sitting in their empty apartment by herself. All day. Definitely not spiraling over something that seemed small and silly and trivial.

But talking to Akira always helped, for some reason. Not that there was anything she particularly needed help with at the moment. It would just be nice to…

_ Is he even there? _

Makoto stopped short, just around the corner from the coffee shop. She hadn’t texted him first, for some odd reason. Sure, it was a shop, but...it still felt oddly private. Like she was just going to drop in on his home unannounced.

Not to mention that he might not even be there.

She pulled out her phone, wincing as the screen unlocked. The background pic was a selfie of her and Ann, cuddled up close together. Ann was winking up at the camera, and Makoto was...well, she was awkwardly staring somewhere to the side of the camera. Ann had set it as her background one day when they were out together, weeks ago, back before...that thing happened.

Her texts hid the picture, thankfully.

_ M: Hey, are you at Leblanc? Do you mind if I come visit? _

Dots popped up immediately, blinking as Akira typed his reply.

_ A: Yup _

_ A: just hanging out, come on by _

She breathed out a sigh of relief. It didn’t last long, chased away by minor panic as something else occurred to her.

_ M: Is anyone else there? _

_ A: yeah it’s just Yusuke reading tho _

More dots. Makoto stared, gripping her phone in both hands.

_ Not Ann, not Ann, please not Ann _

_ A: and Morgana of course _

Right. Of course. Very normal. Nothing to be worried about. There was an unread text from yesterday blinking at her, mocking her.

Makoto opened it, instantly regretting doing so.

_ Ann: hey, are you doing anything right now? _

She hadn’t even been able to bring herself to open it at the time. Makoto scrolled up, cringing at what she saw from a few days earlier.

_ Ann: you busy? i need a crepe real bad _

_ M: I am really busy unfortunately. Summer homework. _

_ Ann: oh i haven’t done mine yet either. you wanna study together? _

_ M: Sorry, it’s harder than I thought and I’m trying to focus. _

It was a lie. Makoto’s summer homework had been done a long time ago. She still wasn’t sure why, exactly, she had lied. She kept scrolling, a few days farther back:

_ Ann: driving thru that desert was so hooooooooot. made me want some ice cream. you wanna join me? _

_ M: I’m pretty worn out. I think I’m going to stay in tonight. _

_ Ann: ok _

_ M: Sorry _

There had been a long, agonizing pause before she’d forced herself to type  _ sorry _ . It kept going like that, Ann reaching out to her and Makoto making stupid excuse after stupid excuse. No, not stupid excuses. She was busy. She couldn’t help being busy.

Her finger was still scrolling, two weeks back now.

_ Ann: omg you’ve never done karaoke?!?!?! _

Makoto shoved her phone back into her bag. She took a deep breath and rounded the corner, surprised to see the door of Leblanc open and waiting for her. It was held open with an old brick, the buzz of a loud fan blaring from inside.

Yusuke was sitting by the door as she walked in, chin resting thoughtfully in one hand as he flipped through an art book. He looked up and gave her a short nod, his dark eyes half-hidden behind his hair.

“Hi,” she said, hovering near the door. Yusuke merely nodded again and went back to his book - he probably barely heard her over the roar of an ancient box fan propped up on one of Leblanc’s tables.

It did feel good, blasting warm air out towards the street. Makoto couldn’t see anyone else in the shop, wandering farther inside cautiously.

“It’s sooooooooooooo hot…” Morgana said.

Makoto looked down at one of the tables. The poor cat ( _ Not cat? Whatever he was)  _ was stretched out on his back, legs up in the air as the fan blew ruffles in his belly fur.

“Queeeeeeeen,” Morgana whined, “Heeeeeeeelp me. Make it coooooooold outside.”

“I wish I could,” she said. “Is Akira…?”

She heard dishes clinking from behind the counter, water running from the tiny nook of a kitchen. Akira stepped out as if he was working there, but he wasn’t wearing a green apron. A damp towel was hung around his neck, dripping down onto his black t-shirt.

“Hey,” Makoto said, sitting down at the counter.

“Welcome,” Akira said, holding out his arms. “Can I get you anything?”

“Oh, I don’t want to impose,” she said. “Where’s your boss?”

He mimed a cigarette at his mouth, pointing out towards the street. “It’s on me. No imposition.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Makoto said, still sweating from the short walk.

Akira smiled and nodded, filling two glasses with ice. “Alright, well I’m gonna make myself an iced coffee. And if I just happen to make too much you can have the extra, okay?”

He always did this, tricking Makoto into taking a break or sharing a soda in a safe room when she was too preoccupied with how the rest of the team was doing. Always with a sly little smile, always pretty obvious about it, nowhere near as clever as he thought he was. Makoto watched him fill two tall glasses with cool, fresh coffee, the ice cubes tinkling against the sides.

“Alright, fine. Thanks,” she said. “That does sound good right now.”

Yusuke appeared in the seat next to her. “Ah yes, an iced beverage. An excellent idea, Akira.”

Akira filled a third glass without a word, still wearing that sly little smile. Makoto took a quick sip and  _ ugh _ it was so good, so cold on her parched throat it almost hurt. Akira downed half of his in a long pull, nodding and smiling at his own handiwork.

Yusuke didn’t touch his coffee. He stared at it, intensely, brow furrowed in concentration.

“Do you...need milk? Or sugar?” Makoto asked.

“No, no, I am merely studying the condensation on the glass,” Yusuke said. “It is particularly aesthetic today.”

It wasn’t the oddest thing she had ever heard him say, sure. Akira waved her off, a quiet little assurance with a nod.

_ Don’t mind him, he’s fine. _

Makoto shrugged and took another sip. It was always so good here, nothing like the stale brown juice Sae made out of those little disposable packets.

“Everything okay?” Akira asked.

“What? With who? Me?” Makoto said, averting her eyes for no particular reason. “Yes, everything’s fine. Why?”

“You sure?” Akira said. “Seems funny that you just happened to be in my neighborhood.”

“Is it?” Makoto said, forcing a very fake smile. “I guess it is.”

“Mmm.” Akira frowned at her, very small and slight, sneaking a quick glance over at Yusuke.

Of course he could tell something was wrong. Makoto took another guilty sip of her coffee, sneaking her own quick glance over at Yusuke, who was finally sipping his drink with a muted look of bliss.

“Do you want to take a walk?” Akira said. “I’d say we could talk upstairs if you need to, but it’s way too hot up there.”

“Oh?” Yusuke said, giving Makoto a worried look. “My apologies, did you have something private to discuss?”

“ _ No _ ,” Makoto said, too loudly, pushing her coffee away on the counter.

Akira raised a very skeptical eyebrow. “Okay then...did you hear something from Eiko?”

“What? Oh...um. No, actually.” That was one of the good things about whatever was wrong with Makoto right now - she had managed to go a few hours without fuming about that sleazy jerk Eiko insisted on dating.

“Are  _ you _ having boy troubles?” Akira said, that sly little smile sneaking back onto his face. He could be such a  _ jerk _ like that sometimes. Any other day, Makoto probably would have just snickered and told him to cut it out.

“That’s not funny,” she said instead.

Akira held his hands up in surrender, silently mouthing  _ sorry _ . Makoto gave him another quick glare for good measure, dragging her coffee back for another sip. At her side, Yusuke seemed to forget all about his drink, raising his hands and making a frame out of his fingers.

He was staring at her, humming quietly to himself as he angled his hands one way and then another. Makoto had seen him do this plenty of times by now, but it was her first time as the subject of his mental sketches.

“What are you doing?” she asked, even though she knew the answer.

“That pinched, furrowed brow. The guilt in your eyes, tinged with resolve,” Yusuke said, seemingly to himself. “Our monarch is troubled, her heart heavy with doubts. Although she is pained, her pose is made picturesque by her struggles.”

Makoto dropped a fist onto the counter, narrowing her eyes at him.

“But she is unbroken!” Yusuke continued, thrilled to be glared at. “She fights on, unwilling, unable to surrender! Futaba needs her, and all of us!”

“Ah, is that it?” Akira said, crossing his arms and nodding. “I’m worried about her, too.”

_ That’s not it _ , she almost said. But she  _ was _ worried about Futaba, dearly so, feeling her shoulders sink as she thought about the poor girl. She’d been twisting herself into knots all day over  _ something _ that she couldn’t quite dare to put breath to, and meanwhile Futaba was locked in a basement just a few streets away, wallowing in depression.

So stupid, worrying about all this...something. They had a mission to do. Someone to save. Whatever was wrong with Makoto could wait.

“Such strength, born from sadness,” Yusuke said, finally dropping his hands. “You truly are inspiring, Makoto.”

She knew he meant it as a compliment. It very nearly enraged her, instead, and if anyone had asked, Makoto couldn’t have even begun to explain why.

_ You know what, Yusuke _ ?

As any good Aikido student knew, you don’t just parry an attack - you turn it around on the attacker.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, actually,” she said.

“Me?” Yusuke blinked in surprise.

“Yes, A-” she only barely stuttered on the name, tripping but catching herself and soldiering on, “Ann told me this crazy story about when you two first met.”

Akira’s eyes lit up, smirking like something hilarious was about to happen.

“She said you...tried to make her strip for you?”

Yusuke hid his face in his hands, bowing his head in shame. “I behaved...regrettably, yes.”

_ Wait WHAT _

Ann had sort of laughed it off, like Yusuke had made a bad joke. But it had stuck with Makoto ever since, a prickly little needle in her head that bothered her every time she saw Yusuke. Surely it had been some kind of misunderstanding?

“I will forever be embarrassed,” Yusuke said, raising his head but still not meeting her eyes. “I swear, it was not meant to be untoward!”

“You did try to make her strip for you, Yusuke,” Akira said.

Morgana sat up a bit, yowling at them from the table across the room. “You besmirched the honor of Lady Ann!”

“I know, I know,” Yusuke said, shaking his head. “Please understand, though - I meant it when I said her form was inspiring to me. I know you all assumed I was...infatuated with her. In a...lascivious sense.”

This was so far from anything Makoto had expected. She’d turned his attack back on him in what was meant to be a friendly, sparring sort of way. Now she felt like she had punched him across the room.

“Regardless, it was wrong of me,” Yusuke said.

Akira nodded at him, gently, as if reminding Yusuke of something.

“I know that I am...odd, in some ways. I have much to learn when it comes to the mysteries of relationships with one’s peers,” Yusuke said. “I will never impose in such a way again. She was clearly uncomfortable with the situation, and my desire to paint her clouded my...no, there is no excuse. I was wrong.”

Makoto had opened a much bigger can of worms than she was ready for. She cast a careful glance at Akira, who seemed less bothered than Makoto thought he maybe should have been. “I’m sure she’s...forgiven you?” she asked, more to Akira than Yusuke.

“Ann has been quite gracious about the situation. I appreciate her forgiveness, but I will ever strive to be worthy of it,” Yusuke said.

Ren nodded again, seeming satisfied. Makoto balked a little, struggling to find words. This was something she dearly, dearly needed to ask...needed to ask Ann about. At some point. Later.

“I would still love to paint her in the nude someday, of course,” Yusuke said, as casually as anything. “But only with her full consent. Her body is unique in its aesthetics. She is incredibly pleasing to behold.”

“I suppose you’re not wrong about that, at least.”

It had snuck out of her mouth, completely on its own. Yusuke merely nodded, going back to his coffee. Akira stared at her, eyebrows raised in a very annoying way. Like he was amused. Bemused, even. Puzzling something out very quickly.

_ Stop looking at me like that, Joker. Stop it. STOP IT. _

Makoto cleared her throat, brushing a few errant strands of hair back behind her ear. “Anyway,” she said, far too loudly. “Did you two have any plans today?”

“Yes, Akira, surely you have a plan for escaping this oppressive heat?” Yusuke said.

Akira finished his coffee in one long pull, making a show of looking thoughtful. There was a glint of mischief in his eyes, a cocky smile that could only mean one thing.

“I actually know a pyramid with great air conditioning,” he said. “Do you think the team would be up for some infiltration?”

“Ah, yes!” Morgana said, rolling over onto his feet and stretching. “Today is a good day for some thieving!”

Yusuke glanced at the door before nodding. “I would love to. Are you calling the others?”

Akira raised an eyebrow at Makoto. It was odd, how quickly they had fallen into place as a team - he always consulted her quietly first.

“That sounds good,” she said. “We have to help Futaba. The sooner the better.”

He smiled and pulled out his phone.

Makoto felt herself take a deep breath as he typed in the group chat, already feeling better. At least she would be busy now. Occupied. Something to think about other than that still-unanswered text message.

  
  


* * *

Makoto had a very serious problem.

She flopped down onto her bed, exhausted, her whole body sinking like she was made of lead. Pretty standard after a day in the Metaverse, but still not something she could get used to. She could swear they had spent longer in Futaba’s palace than it seemed at first - time felt fluid once they activated the app, flexible in an odd way.

But she couldn’t prove that. Not yet, anyway. Something to think about in the future. That wasn’t what was bothering her, though. Makoto honestly wasn’t upset about getting hurt herself - she didn’t know if she was even capable of that kind of fear once the mask was on. The steel on her face matched the steel in her heart, full to bursting with righteous, fearless wrath.

Her teammates, though. They could be hurt. She could let them down. She could fail them.  _ That _ was scary.  _ That _ was downright terrifying, no matter how much the power of Johanna coursed through her.

Joker had pulled her aside in one of the safe rooms after a while. Quietly. Discreetly. Much smoother than he usually managed to be outside the Metaverse, in a way that was effortlessly charming.

_ Queen. _

She looked up at him, a low and simmering glare with no target. His gloved hand was resting on her shoulder, fingers careful around the spikes on her armor.

_ You seem...distracted. _

You’re right, she’d said. Sorry, she’d said. I’ll get it together.

_ You’re my rock out there. Our rock. But you’re still part of the team. We’re here for you. _

She knew that. Of course she knew that.

_ If something’s wrong, we want to help. You can talk to me. _

She’d glanced over at Panther. Stupidly. Obviously. Caught staring at Panther in that ridiculous

_ Amazing _

That ridiculous, over the top

_ Utterly gorgeous _

Over the top costume, all shiny latex and skintight curves, how could she even move

_ I’m still staring why can’t I stop staring what is wrong with me _

Panther wasn’t even doing anything sexy at the moment

_ Oh god everything she does is sexy _

Just standing there checking the magazine on her tommy gun, her tail swishing around her hips.

Joker followed her gaze, but he didn’t get caught like Makoto was, stuck lingering on Panther’s curves.

_...Did you two have some kind of fight? Should I talk to her? _

No! No, no, absolutely not, it’s fine, nothing happened.

Joker sighed. He didn’t believe her. But his point was taken. I’ll get it together, Makoto had said. Deep breath. Head back in the game. I have to look out for...the team…

Her eyes were lingering again, but this time Panther looked over. Met them. Makoto yanked her stare away, hard, fighting the urge to slap herself. That damn mask was the worst part, honestly, the way it perfectly framed those brilliant blue eyes, making them pop against all the red.

Joker had just sighed again and opened a can of some vile energy drink, holding it out to Makoto. She took it and drank without a word.

They carried on without incident after that. But Joker hadn’t been wrong. It was different this time, in a way that ached in Makoto’s chest. Panther and Queen had damn near carried the team through Kaneshiro’s palace, a strange kind of electricity flickering invisible between them when they’d fought. They’d never spoken about it, but...oh, it was there.

It had taken them days. Multiple sojourns into the flying bank, with a few days of rest and recuperation between each trip. That was when Makoto and Ann were hanging out all the time, getting to know each other, talking about nothing over crepes or texting each other about some dumb joke Ryuji made, or just...sitting silently together as they studied in the student council room or that Shibuya diner, so comfortable.

And they’d fought like  _ demons _ together. They barely needed to speak, Panther slinging fiery magic from the back of Johanna, holding on tight with her other arm around Makoto’s waist. Or that time Panther snared a shadow with her whip and pulled it into a devastating blow from Makoto’s fist. Or the way Panther would light a shadow on fire, blowing a kiss as Makoto’s nuclear magic finished the job.

It had just...worked, somehow.

And now it didn’t.

The timing was never quite right. Makoto kept missing her shots, fumbling with her mask, slipping her punch just slightly off the mark. Panther was off, too, definitely not so badly as Makoto but it was there. 

She didn’t call out to Makoto first for help any more.

Makoto had been telling herself, desperately and hopelessly, that it was all in her head. This palace was just more dangerous, the shadows stronger. That was all.

But Joker noticed.

She blamed Yusuke, honestly. All his weirdly flowery words about Ann’s  _ unique aesthetics _ and how she was  _ pleasurable to behold  _ and something something  _ nude _ . It had gotten into Makoto’s head somehow, thrown her off, shaken her up.

No, that...she instantly felt awful. Yusuke hadn’t done it. If it was anyone’s fault, it was…

_ Those eyes, half open, a little dazed, staring in the dark karaoke room _

Just a little carried away. That was all, the two of them had gotten a little carried away and Makoto had made a big deal out of something that wasn’t a big deal and now it was an even bigger deal and ugh what was even  _ happening _ ?

Ann was just…like that. Physical like that. It didn’t have to mean...it wasn’t...a thing. It was no reason for Makoto to be too scared to hang out with Ann any more.

That was it. It was her own fault, after all. She had to make this right. She had to apologize and clear the air with Ann and everything would be okay.

Makoto picked up her phone, freezing and staring as the screen unlocked. Ann’s bright blue eyes stared up at the camera, a flirty little smile under them. It was...something. It elicited an emotion, or perhaps several of them, and Makoto carefully, begrudgingly let herself finally feel a few of them.

Yes, Ann was attractive. Gorgeous, even. Everyone knew that. Everyone was always telling her that. It was the first and only thing most people said to her or about her. It felt a little gross to even acknowledge it, if Makoto was being honest. It made her feel shallow, rude, cheap, like one of their hundreds of classmates who knew little else about Ann Takamaki other than she was the  _ hot American girl _ .

But it also happened to be true. Makoto had barely been able to keep her eyes off the other girl in the Metaverse, but that was...everything was so  _ different _ there.

Well, maybe not different. Just...more true. Everything normally buried deep inside made alive and intense, given form, made…

Made real.

_ Oh. _

_...Oh! _

Okay, so...maybe that was a thing. Makoto locked her phone and slammed it down onto the bed, screen down, biting her lip. Maybe...Makoto Niijima likes girls? Is that...could that be a thing?

_ Panther cried out for Carmen, tearing the mask from her face as fire danced around her legs, the flames flickering bright against her suit and raging in her eyes. _

Makoto shivered. Seeing that never got old, that was for sure.

_ That one time Ann had touched her neck, reaching up casually like it hadn’t sent bolts of tingling lightning down into her toes. _

She hadn’t even remembered that until it came screaming up out of her subconscious just now. It had felt...intense, yes. Sure. So unexpected!

_ The way their lips had touched in that dark room, for one long fleeting moment _

Makoto felt a long, shuddering sigh sneak out from her lips. It had felt good. It  _ had _ . Her pulse was racing just thinking about it, and…

Her thighs were squeezed tightly together, her hips writhing against the sheets. Makoto froze the moment she realized what was happening. Her face was hot, a desperate blush blooming over her cheeks and sneaking up into her ears.

Perhaps that was part of the problem here. It had been a while, after all.

Fine, just...something to take care of. Maybe that was all this was all along. Makoto squirmed out of her white blouse, tossing it on the floor next to her bed.

She wasn’t  _ not _ familiar with...taking care of herself, in that way. It was just another thing that had to be done with her body. Shower, wash your face, trim your nails, and sometimes masturbate. A simple relieving of a physical need. Letting off some steam.

And yes, if she didn’t do it for a while she got...distracted. Restless. Relief washed over her as she pulled down her black tights, already feeling better. That was all this whole thing was - she’d been so distracted and busy and overwhelmed and it had been too long and  _ of course _ she was out of sorts.

This would all be taken care of shortly, and things would be back to normal.

She slapped one hand over her mouth the moment her fingers brushed against the fabric of her underwear. She wasn’t even  _ naked _ yet, hadn’t even really touched herself, and a low moan had crept out of her.

Yes, it had been way too long. A lot had been happening. Makoto  _ needed _ this, definitely. She slipped one hand beneath the elastic of her panties, quick and efficient and long-practiced at just getting this over with so she could get back to work.

In the past, anyway. Something felt  _ different _ this time, an overwhelming jolt of need that emptied her thoughts the moment her fingers brushed that small nub at the top of her…

“Aah!” Makoto heard herself whimper, her back arching up a little off the bed.

This was...that was most definitely different.

Her free hand grabbed her phone and unlocked the screen, a shuddering breath moaning out from her throat as she saw that picture of Ann. Bright blue eyes, staring up with that flirty, naughty little smile. Her fingers pressed harder on their own and it felt so damn good Makoto couldn’t even breathe, her toes curling and gripping the sheets.

She gasped and tossed the phone away. She couldn’t...that was wrong. That was  _ creepy _ . She could  _ not _ do...this while she looked at...no. No, no, no.

Her thoughts ran on without her, not stuck on needing something so trivial as a phone. There was that time Makoto had been about to do that thing she always found herself doing, reaching up to tuck a few stray hairs behind her ear. Ann had beaten her to it, her slim and pretty fingers brushing against Makoto’s temple.

And Ann had giggled at Makoto’s look of shock.

_ Oh. Oh, wow. Oh my. _

Makoto’s hips were shaking, her fingers rubbing faster. She hadn’t even slipped a finger inside herself and she was so wet she could barely think.

Or that time Ann was sitting next to her and leaned over to whisper in Makoto’s ear, one hand resting on Makoto’s shoulder and the other sneaking onto her thigh, innocently resting near her knee. Ann’s lips so close that Makoto couldn’t tell if she could feel them or if she was just imagining it, the whispered words embarrassingly unheard.

This was...this was weird, right? Makoto was confused ( _ Yes, obviously _ ) but shouldn’t she have been imagining something more...Ann’s  _ body _ was so...perfect.

Makoto felt her eyes narrow, making a simmering, frowning pout. It was the same little flash of anger she felt every time Ryuji said something about Ann’s breasts. It just didn’t feel...right, somehow.

_ Brilliant blue eyes staring up at me _

Not the way those did. Was that wrong? Was that...racist, or something? Everybody always commented on her eyes, too. It must have been so annoying for…

Makoto’s fingers kept acting on their own, pressing hard in increasingly frantic little circles. Her body had no more patience for her second-guessing, it seemed, tearing her away from what surely would have been a spiral out of the unbelievable pleasure she was feeling. She was panting for breath now, so close to finishing it was agony, fully and completely a runaway train wreck.

She could see it, phone or no phone. Ann’s beautiful eyes, staring up at Makoto in a smoky, sultry gaze, a sly little smirk on her lips as she leaned in close between Makoto’s legs. Makoto whimpered and felt her thighs open wide, gasping, staring helpless as Ann leaned in closer, biting her lip, opening her mouth and slowly sticking out her tongue while those gorgeous eyes never broke away from Makoto’s stare.

Her other hand slapped itself to Makoto’s breast, squeezing and twisting and it  _ hurt _ but also didn’t and oh my god did it feel amazing and when had she ever done  _ that _ before? She was almost there, instants away from finishing, breaths caught in strangled, choked little gasps.

They had kissed. Ann had kissed her. Makoto had felt those perfect lips on her own, and…

_ Got carried away _

_ I’m sorry _

_ I didn’t mean to _

Ann was suddenly nowhere near her, standing across the room in the dark, eyes hiding and staring at the floor. Sad and hurt and her hands fumbling with the blue sweater tied around her waist.

Earlier that day, after a particularly grueling fight. Panther was knocked to the ground, a little worse for wear, and Makoto had actually managed to get something right finally, taking out a shadow before it landed a follow up blow.

She rushed over to help Panther up. Ann took her hand...slowly. Reluctantly, almost. Their eyes didn’t meet, Ann staring off to the side.

_...Thanks. _

That was it. Thanks. Small and quiet and forced.

Makoto’s eyes shot open, gasping for breath. Something was…something was wrong. Those little bolts of pleasure shooting through her body every time her fingers rubbed against herself...they were gone. She kept trying, she was  _ so _ close, teetering right on the edge of...

_ Ow. Ow ow OW. _

It hurt now, numb and sore between her legs. Nothing was happening, but that pent up excitement coiled in her belly was still there, squirming and fidgeting and shuddering with nowhere to go. Makoto whimpered and muttered and growled nonsense, her hands giving up and just pounding against the bed in frustration.

_ What the hell? What the HELL? _

She was in worse shape than before, for sure. Still panting a little, catching her breath. This was...this was not good. She couldn’t go on like this, couldn’t let herself be distracted like this.

Calm. Deep breaths, in and out, long and slow. There. Calm. Relax.

It was difficult, and it took minutes, literal minutes that felt like hours, but Makoto kept breathing until the sweaty panting  _ need _ between her legs had quieted down a bit. Not gone, no, still wound up in a way that ached so much. But...under control. For now.

Well.

Makoto had a very serious problem. But there was a solution, even if it was sort of scary for reasons she couldn’t…

Well, she had a better idea of exactly  _ why _ she was so terrified of talking to Ann now. But she had to. She would text Ann right now and apologize and clear the air and things would go back to normal and nobody would ever know about what Makoto Niijima had just been thinking about alone in her bedroom at night.

It took her a second to find where she had thrown her phone, off on the far corner of the bed. Makoto curled up on her side with it, tapping through from the home screen into her texts as quickly as she could. Had to change that home screen background, had to think of an excuse if Ann ever saw that it had changed.

Ann’s text from yesterday stared back at her.

_ hey, are you doing anything right now? _

Still unanswered. It felt awful, looking at it. Neither of them had acknowledged it at all today, not a single mention the whole time they were in the palace.

Makoto closed her eyes for a long moment, the better to kick herself mentally. She had dropped Ann like a hot brick. So awful. Unacceptable, really. Utterly shameful.

It was time to make things right. Makoto started tapping on her phone’s keyboard…

_ M: Hey Ann, I _

She stopped. What had she been about to type, exactly?

_ Hey Ann, I was just masturbating while thinking about you and it...didn’t go well. _

That would be an insane thing to say, of course. But it was all she could think about, blaring out in her head, crowding out anything else. Makoto deleted the few characters she had typed, retreating for a moment to regroup.

Clearly she had to think this through, make a plan, take a few moments to think about what to say.

Her phone lit up. Blinking dots appeared next to Ann’s name. Typing.

Makoto stared, frozen in place. Waiting and watching and holding her breath.

The dots disappeared. Ann had given up and deleted whatever she was typing.

Before she could think about it Makoto typed  _ wait no please say something _ and then her thoughts caught up with her and she panicked completely, deleting the words before her finger could slip somehow and hit  _ send _ . She cringed and held the phone up to her forehead, wondering what the hell she was even doing. She may as well just call Ann right now and say  _ Oh hey, hi, yes I was staring at my phone waiting for you to text me like some kind of complete lunatic, how are you? _

Maybe Ann was typing something right now. Maybe any second now Makoto’s phone would buzz and there would be a message from Ann saying  _ Hi, sorry, I miss you. _

Makoto looked at her phone. There was nothing, just yesterday’s text. Still unanswered.

She sighed, long and loud. There was...this would require some more thought, if she was going to say anything to Ann that didn’t sound completely insane. She needed to sleep on it, and think about it, and then everything would be back to normal.

But first, she was going to take a long and probably less-hot-than-usual shower.


	3. Chapter 3

Thursday, 8/4

Climbing up the long stairs out of the Yongen-Jaya station, again. On her way to Leblanc, again. At least it wasn’t quite so oppressively hot this time, a bit of merciful breeze breaking up the humid August heat.

Makoto wondered how many times she had made this walk now, how many more times she would do so. Being summoned for a secret meeting, a clandestine gathering of rogues. And she was  _ one of them _ . 

“Hey! Wait up!”

She stopped and turned to see Ryuji running up the stairs towards her, dodging around the few other people there.

“What’s up Quee…” 

Makoto narrowed her eyes at him, heaving an exasperated sigh. They had  _ talked  _ about this, about how easily she’d been able to record him running his mouth.

“Oh! Right. Sorry,” he said, shooting finger guns at her. “What’s up...Prez? Fist of the Phantom Star?”

“Cut it out,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Just  _ Makoto _ , please.”

“Yes, ma’am!” he said, falling in beside her as she walked up and out into Yongen-Jaya. “Weird, runnin’ into you. I thought I was late.”

“We are late,” she said. “My sister was home, for once. I got stuck talking to her, and then...I waited for her to leave. No need to make an excuse that way.”

“Aww, geez. That sucks. I just keep telling my mom I’m in this new study group,” Ryuji said, scratching the back of his neck. “To be honest, I still kinda feel bad about lying to her.”

“That’s...surprisingly sweet of you,” Makoto said. “At least it’s for a good cause?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Ryuji shrugged and stretched his arms over his head, spending a few extra moments rolling one of his shoulders out as they walked. They made it another half block towards Leblanc without more words, which Makoto couldn’t help but feel...well, kind of bad about? If she was being honest?

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Ryuji, far from it. They just didn’t spend a lot of time together just the two of them--they almost always had Ren serving as the bridge between them, or even A...even...her.

Makoto winced just trying to think her name. That’s how bad it was now. It had been days since she’d made her mind up to fix things, and...here she still was.

They’d been  _ busy _ though!

“You think Futaba’s still passed out?” Ryuji asked, as they turned off the main street and into the quiet backroads of Ren’s neighborhood.

Makoto already knew the answer. “Akira called me earlier. She’s still out.”

“Geez, I kinda wish I could sleep like that sometimes,” Ryuji said. “That’s crazy!”

“It is crazy,” Makoto said. “We’re running out of time.”

“Yeah…” Ryuji had his thumbs hooked into his pockets, walking along at her side with an easy slouch. She had misjudged him, too, back when she was first tasked with tracking down the identities of the Phantom Thieves. She’d taken one look at Ryuji and figured him as nothing more than a delinquent, and a foolish one with a big mouth, at that.

And she’d been wrong, of course. So wrong, about all of them. She would trust Ryuji with her life now. Had done so, plenty of times in the Metaverse. He fought with reckless abandon, throwing himself into the fray every time, even when…

Oh, right. That had been a tough fight, stealing Futaba’s treasure. “By the way, how are you feeling?” Makoto asked.

“Who, me?”

“Yes, you,” Makoto said, shaking her head. 

“Oh! Right, yeah, I’m doing good,” Ryuji said. “I don’t know man, that weird sphinx mom thing really had my number. Felt like I was getting my ass kicked out there.”

“Tell me you rested up afterwards like I asked you to?”

“Yeah, yeah, I took it easy,” he said, rolling his eyes over a sheepish smile. “Stayed inside all night. Ann even brought me dinner ‘cuz my mom was too busy.”

Like a static shock, all over her body. Makoto felt her eyes widen but managed to keep it together otherwise. “Oh. That was...kind of her.”

“Yeah, she was all like,  _ aww poor Ryuji _ , and you better believe I milked that shit for all it was worth,” he said, stretching his arms over his head again. “She’s my main babe for sure. No offense, Queen.”

Makoto didn’t even have time to be mad about hearing her codename out in the real world. It felt like her chest was caving in on itself, her heart and lungs squeezed tight until they were ready to burst.

_ Oh my god I’m so stupid so SO stupid of course she isn’t...of course those two are… _

She cleared her throat, gritting her teeth through her next words. “That’s...I see. I didn’t know you and Ann were…”

Makoto trailed off after that, out of breath and still feeling shocked. She couldn’t bring herself to say the actual word  _ dating _ .

“Uh...I mean,” Ryuji shoved his hands into his pockets, looking a little sheepish again. “Honestly? It’s not like that. I didn’t mean...I don’t know. I didn’t mean like, you know...like  _ that _ .”

“...Oh?”

“Yeah, I mean don’t get me wrong, she’s got like...the most rockin’ bod I’ve ever seen.”

Makoto felt an odd swirl of  _ something _ in her throat at that, where normally she would give Ryuji a glaring little glance.

“But, I don’t know...me and Ann have been friends for like, forever. She’s practically my sister now,” he said, squinting in a bit of worried confusion. “A really...hot sister. Eww. No, I didn’t mean that! She is  _ not _ like my sister!”

It was like she could breathe again, suddenly. Makoto couldn’t help the relief in her voice, so thick it almost felt smug. “You know, there’s nothing wrong with just being friends with her.”

“Yeah, I know...she’s just so freakin’ hot, you know? Er...I guess you don’t know?”

“Ha. Yes. Right,” Makoto said, forcing an absolutely cringeworthy laugh. “But, I mean...you’ve known her forever. Has she ever, umm…”

_ Ask you coward do it just ASK _

“Has she ever talked about a boyfriend?”

“Who Ann? Naw, never. Kinda funny, I guess, I mean she’s always had guys crawling all over her,” Ryuji said. “But all she ever talked about was Shiho, all day every day, Shiho Shiho Shiho.”

Interesting. Very interesting.

“Until you came along, anyway,” Ryuji said, completely unaware of how his words were landing. “Then it was all, aww sorry I can’t gym with you today Ryuji, me and Mako-chan have another study date.”

Date? Study  _ date _ ?! That was just...no, that was just how Ann talked, it didn’t mean...surely Ann would have  _ told  _ her if that was how she…

“Oh hey! Speakin’ of,” Ryuji said. “You wanna hit the gym with me sometime? You’re such a badass whenever we’re in the Meta...I mean, in the...you know, the place. I bet you’d be a real hardass to work out with.”

“Me?” Makoto said, holding her chin for a moment. She did miss training at the dojo. “Umm...yes, I think that would be neat.”

“Heyyyyyyyy! Hell yeah, gym bros!” he said, raising his fist toward her.

Makoto stared at his hand for a second, gently raising her own fist and tapping it against his knuckles. Ryuji opened his hand back like an explosion, whispering  _ Boom Pow gym broooooooos. _

She couldn’t help chuckling a little. “You’d better bring your A-game. I won’t go easy on you.”

“Yes ma’am!” Ryuji said, throwing her a lazy salute.

That felt better. A chance to get to know Ryuji better, sure. But that wasn’t really why Makoto had a flickering little swell of hopeful joy in her chest. 

* * *

They were indeed late. Normal for Ryuji. Very odd for Makoto Niijima.

Akira had pulled his table away from the wall, the rest of the Phantom Thieves already there. Her seat was waiting for her, an empty spot on the ratty old couch. A wide open spot next to Ann.

Ann Takamaki. Reclined on the couch, holding her phone up and lazily twirling one of her pigtails in her other hand. She looked up as Makoto and Ryuji climbed the stairs, smiling at Ryuji - and then froze completely as those brilliant blue eyes met Makoto’s, her finger stopping mid hair twirl.

Makoto didn’t look away this time. She felt herself pause, hovering near the top of the stairs. She couldn’t tell what kind of face Ann was making, honestly, sad or mad or somehow lost. But it wasn’t a smile. Ann’s lips moved, a silent little motion that mouthed a word without a sound.

_ Hi _

It made Makoto’s heart stop, all the strength draining out of her so that all she could manage back was a nervous, subdued little wave. She forced her feet to move again, walking over to the--

“Ow! Son of a--” Makot growled, barely heard over the loud clanging of the bucket rolling across the floor after her shin had crashed into it. “Sorry, sorry, everybody, I was just…”

She trailed off as she realized she’d have to squeeze by Ann to get to her seat. Ann had never beaten her here before, after all. “Sorry, can I just…?” Makoto said, shuffling awkwardly between Ann and the table.

Ann sat up straight and tucked her legs back, their knees almost touching. But then she stood up, too late, maybe to step out of Makoto’s way. It was only a brief moment, pressed close face-to-face as Makoto slid past, but it was...oh, it was  _ agony _ . Makoto felt their shirts touch, the barest brush of fabric across fabric on her chest.

So close, every nerve in Makoto’s body drawn tight and screaming in an instant. She could  _ smell _ Ann, a faint trace of flowery sweetness in her blonde hair, teasing in Makoto’s nose.

And then it was over, Makoto taking her seat and clearing her throat and apologizing again for her tardiness. Ann sat down beside her, both of them carefully scooting away from each other.

“So what’s going on, fearless leader?” Ryuji said, not even noticing the turmoil on the couch across from him. “Mementos today?”

“I was under the impression that there were no new requests?” Yusuke said, facing away from the table and contemplating a salty cracker.

“Yeah, can we please not?” Ann said. “I’m still recovering from running down that pyramid.”

Makoto cleared her throat, trying to stomp down all the swirling, dizzy…

_ We TOUCHED again and her smell and her hair and _

Ugh, she was being pathetic. All of that had to wait. “More importantly, we need to talk about Medjed. What are we going to do if Futaba can’t help us? Do we have any kind of backup plan?”

Everyone looked at her. Akira was at the head of the table, eyes shielded by his glasses. He gave her a long, pondering look, eventually shifting into a sure little smile. “She’ll help us,” he said. Simple as that.

“How can you be so sure?” Makoto said. “She’s been passed out for...what, a whole day now?”

“She’s been through a lot,” he said. “We just have to be patient.”

“Geez, cold as ice,” Ryuji muttered, shoving Ren’s shoulder. “How do you pull it off, man?”

Something about that cracked the facade. Akira let out a long, nervous sigh. “Look, the truth is, I don’t know. But I’m not worried. I believe in Futaba.”

And the crazy thing was, it  _ worked _ . He still sounded so sure, somehow. Makoto did feel a little less worried, in that moment. Maybe he was right.

“...And that is why you are our leader,” Yusuke said. “My spirit is bolstered.”

“So...what?” Ryuji said, shrugging. “We just sit around and wait for the next few days? I don’t know man, I’m gonna go nuts.”

“Yeah, can we do something?” Ann said. “I could really use a distraction.”

_ And why is that exactly? _

Makoto slapped herself internally. Not everything was about...whatever was going on between her and Ann, for god’s sake. They had plenty else to be worried about.

Akira nodded at them. “That sounds like a good idea, actually.”

“Another victory party?” Ryuji said, perking up and then immediately slouching again. “Feels kinda early, doesn’t it? Like, we don’t wanna jinx it or nothin’.”

Ren nodded again. “Not a celebration. That was a tough palace. We’re all supposed to be on vacation, right? We could use a breather. A bit of relaxation.”

“Might we attend the bathhouse across the street again?” Yusuke said. “That was incredibly relaxing last time.”

Makoto felt alarms blaring out in her head. “Wait,  _ last  _ time?”

“Yeah, back when Yusuke joined,” Ryuji said. “And hey, this time Ann won’t have to go on the girl’s side by herself!”

A quick glance of panic to her side. Makoto couldn’t help it, seeing Ann looking away from her as if nothing was amiss. What was she supposed to say, exactly?

_ Sorry everyone but I can’t go to the bathhouse with Ann, no reason, NO DO NOT ASK ANY QUESTIONS _

“Sounds good to me,” Akira said, resting a long and cautious look on Makoto. “Girls?”

Makoto managed not to freak out visibly, somehow, opening her mouth to say...something, surely. Nothing came out.

“Sure,” Ann said. Completely innocent. Still looking away. “Fine by me.”

_ Don’t freak out don’t freak DO NOT FREAK OUT _

“Yes…” Makoto forced out, “That...sounds nice.”

* * *

Makoto’s very serious problem had become exponentially more serious.

It wasn’t a huge bathhouse. She had never been inside before, but of course she had noticed it was there, walking past it every time she went to Leblanc. She was used to the gigantic one closer to Shibuya that her family had gone to, back when...well, before.

This one was nice enough. Rustic. Cozy, almost small-town. Makoto made a conscious effort to study the clean, bright tiles, or the lovely design scrolling down the wall in front of her, or absolutely anything she could look at so that she wasn’t looking anywhere near Ann Takamaki instead.

There were Western-style standing showers on one end of the room, and Makoto had taken one of those stalls. Far across from her, on the other end of the room, was a row of Japanese-style washing stations, and thankfully Ann was sitting at one of those.

She should have said something. Anything. Any dumb excuse, it didn’t even have to be going home, her and Ann could have done something else entirely and still spent time together. They could be talking in a cafe right now. With their clothes on.

But it was too late now, of course. Makoto glanced over…

_ Why am I looking don’t look don’t do it oh god I’m looking _

Ann’s bare shoulders and back, wet and slick. The swell of her hips, water from a showerhead in her hand rinsing suds down her flawless skin.

Makoto had to physically turn her head to the side with one hand, desperately cranking the knob for more cold water. She had never felt like this in a bathhouse, never had an issue being around other naked women. It was perfectly normal in Tokyo to go to a bathhouse with your friends. She’d seen other girls many times scrubbing each other's backs, chatting casually, nothing odd about that at all and it was  _ literally all she could think about right now _ . Sitting behind Ann, running her hands up her warm back, maybe resting her cheek against Ann’s neck and…

No. No, stop it, keep it together. She closed her eyes and looked up, letting the cold shower blast her in the face. It was getting close to unbearable, Makoto shivering and hugging her arms tight against her chest. She remembered lying on her bed that night, touching herself as she thought about Ann’s eyes looking up at her. Wondering why she was so fixated on that, how odd that her imagination seemed to skip right over Ann’s body when that was all anybody else seemed to notice.

Well, there was no more need to worry over  _ that _ particular question. Makoto Niijima was just like everyone else, in the end. She dared to glance over again, only to see that Ann had finished washing and made her way to the large, shared hot tub taking up most of the room.

Okay then. Makoto considered, briefly, just standing in the shower for a while longer and skipping the whole  _ soak in hot water _ idea. 

_ Sure, not awkward at all. _

Then they could just go on ignoring each other forever. No, she had made up her mind, earlier - she had to talk to Ann. She  _ needed _ to talk to Ann, very badly.

Makoto turned off the shower. Deep breath, her chest shaking under her cold, numb skin. She turned around and saw Ann sitting in the tub, her back to Makoto again, hair gathered up in a towel wrapped around her head.

And of  _ course _ they were alone. Because why in the hell would there be even a single other woman in Yongen-Jaya using the bathhouse?

But this was no time for nerves. Makoto steeled herself up, squeezing her hands into tight fists. This was fine. This was perfect, actually, very private and

_ Intimate _

No, too much. Don’t think about it like that. Makoto walked over to the tub, trying and failing to not stare again.

Ann’s eyes were closed, her chin tilted up as she leaned back against the side of the tub. She sighed loudly, the rise and fall of her chest and shoulders just...delightful to watch, the elegant line of her bare neck a rare sight with all her hair contained for once. She was like a gorgeous swan wreathed in steam, all glamour and elegance and tantalizing to look at.

It felt...awful to behold. Ann was exotic and perfect, a rare foreign beauty, and Makoto was...not. She’d never been reminded so exquisitely and completely of how...well,  _ normal _ she was. Maybe not even that much. Her breasts were small, her hips awkwardly wide, the muscles on her arms and legs nothing like the slim curves of a proper lady.

But she couldn’t give up now. And besides, she was  _ freezing _ after that shower. She climbed into the hot tub, feeling pins and needles all up her legs, hot water soothing her nerves back to life.

Where to sit? Not the other end of the tub. Too far away. Awkward. Not across from Ann. Too much to look at, much too dangerous. After a thoughtful moment of hesitation, Makoto settled on sitting next to Ann. Not too close. Hopefully not too far away. Just enough that she could reach out and touch Ann’s hand, if she really reached.

So she sat. And felt herself let out a long sigh to match Ann’s, the hot water melting away the tension in her muscles.

And...sat. Silently. For a long minute. Here they were. Finally. Sitting together. Alone. Makoto gripped the edge of the bath’s seat so tightly she was afraid it might crack, trying to recall any of the dozen or so prepared openers she had worried over in the last few days.

But nothing came. She visualized her note cards in her head, like she did sometimes, which even she had to admit was corny. But it did help. Usually. Right now they all seemed to be blank.

Ann cleared her throat. Dainty and deliberate, not looking over at Makoto.

“Hmm?” Makoto felt herself say, unable to help it.

“...Nothing,” Ann said, still looking away. Resolutely looking away, it seemed. “No, actually, you know what?”

Makoto raised her hand, desperately. “Wait! Can I...go first?”

Ann turned to her, shocked and squinting, but turned away just as fast, crossing her arms as if to hide her chest. She crossed her legs as well, making a pouting little frown.

“What are you doing?” Makoto asked, before realizing an instant later that Ann couldn’t even bear to look at her.

“What do you mean?” Ann said, huffing. “I’m trying not to make this awkward.”

“Oh.” It seemed a little pointless to Makoto. That particular ship had sailed long ago.

“Well?” Ann said. “You said you wanted to go first?”

“Right, right…” Makoto said, another deep breath. “I’m...sorry.”

Ann’s crossed arms relaxed, the slightest bit. “...Me too.”

“You too?” Makoto said, blinking. “For what?”

“I kissed you!” Ann said, groaning and burying her face in her hands. “I knew the moment I did it that I freaked you out and I just...ugh.”

Makoto had been freaked out, sure. She didn’t want to  _ say _ it, though.

“God, I’ve been waiting  _ weeks _ to say that!” Ann said, looking up with a long sigh. “I’m sorry but I am also still a little mad at you for  _ that _ , by the way.”

“That’s fair!” Makoto said, instantly, holding up open palms. She didn’t want to say it, sure, but she forced it out anyway. “I was...I  _ was  _ freaked out, I guess. I’m sorry. I’m...bad at all this.”

“Oh...Makoto…” Ann said, shaking her head. “I knoooowwww, I know...this is all my fault.”

No, it wasn’t. Makoto stared down at her own toes, blurry through the water and steam. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I swear. I kept thinking about what to say and then I would just…and all this stuff with Futaba kept getting in the way…”

“You ghosted me,” Ann said. “You ghosted me  _ hard _ .”

“...Yes,” Makoto said, biting her lip. “Yes, I did. I’m sorry.”

Ann let out another long sigh, also staring down into the water. She looked so lonely, the sad ache in her eyes unbearable to watch. “You know what the worst part is?”

Makoto didn’t say anything. She had no idea, obviously.

“I was so  _ happy _ when we first started hanging out,” Ann said. “Shiho was gone, and I was the only girl in the Phan...on the team. And it was such a  _ relief _ , because I kind of thought you hated me at first.”

_ I kind of did  _ and  _ I thought you hated ME _ fought to get out of Makoto’s mouth first, and luckily neither of them won.

“And honestly, I...I kind of thought I hated you a little, before…” Ann started to say.

“Don’t,” Makoto said, “I know. You don’t have to say it.”

Ann turned to her with a warm smile, something she hadn’t given Makoto in what felt like years. “You know how people say they don’t want to  _ ruin their friendship _ ? Like it’s usually just a nice way of letting someone down? I think I get it, now.”

There were...a  _ lot _ of possible meanings there. Makoto felt herself tripping over them, there were so many. Certainly not just one possible thing it could mean, screaming out from low in her chest and echoing through her head.

Ann leaned closer to her, very slightly, almost imperceptibly so. Her hand was resting on the long bench seat of the tub, sliding one slight, tentative centimeter towards Makoto.

“...I missed you,” Ann said, still low and sad and lonely. “I missed being your friend so much.”

Their eyes met, for the briefest of moments. Ann tore her gaze away, looking off to the side, as if...as if forcing herself not to stare.

Makoto had been afraid, for some reason, to really give thought to an idea. It didn’t seem possible - too improbably, really, the chances of each separate component being true cascading into each other until there was just no way that…

Because, for one, she had only recently started coming to terms with the idea that Makoto Niijima likes girls.

And on top of that, what were the odds that Ann Takamaki liked girls?

And on top of  _ that _ , what were the odds that Ann Takamaki would like...Makoto? Shy, uptight Makoto Niijima?

But it was staring her in the face, now. What else could any of this possibly mean? And she’d shied away from it, hid from it, found herself confused and overwhelmed instead of just…

Going for it.

She reached over, resting her hand on top of Ann’s. It was warm and smooth and sent a joyous little thrill up her arm when they touched. Ann looked over, her cheeks flushed and her eyes lit up with surprise.

Makoto had sworn to herself when she’d felt that raging part of her spirit awaken, rising up from deep inside her. No more holding back. No more hiding. So maybe she’d backslid a little over this whole...Ann...thing. This was new to her. She wasn’t perfect.

But she sure as hell could make up for lost time. Makoto scooted closer to Ann, leaning in towards her. “I...well...I think I’ve been wanting to tell you,” she said, leaning in closer and closer until she was hovering beside Ann, breathing past her ear. Ann stiffened up next to her, squirming in place.

“I don’t think I’m freaked out anymore,” Makoto said. “And I missed you too.”

Ann jerked her head away, shuddering. She turned to Makoto and made a wordless little gasp, her cheeks turning as red as her catsuit.

It was irresistible, literally, drawing Makoto in closer, no other choice. Nothing like when Ann had kissed her before - this was slow, deliberate, Makoto closing her eyes and pressing their lips together and  _ wow _ .

Her heart was raging in her chest, and sure maybe she was leaned over so far it was a little uncomfortable, but who could even  _ care  _ about that? She was  _ kissing _ Ann Takamaki, shifting to sit closer to her, her hand shaking as it rested on another woman’s hand. On  _ Ann Takamaki’s _ hand.

Makoto’s lips parted, and Ann did the same, a squeaking moan vibrating out of Ann and into Makoto as their tongues just barely brushed up against each…

The door to the changing room opened. A trio of older women came in, chatting about something that Makoto couldn’t even come close to registering because she was too busy slamming herself back to just sitting in the tub. Yes, just two teenage girls in a bath together. Nothing to see here.

Ann’s chest was heaving, panting for breath as she held a hand up to her mouth. A flirty little smile hid behind that hand, shocked and surprised and still blushing.

The new arrivals went straight to the washing stations, loudly talking and completely ignoring them. Makoto let out a deep breath, sneaking glances over at Ann.

Their hands were still together, hidden under the water. Ann lifted her fingers and snuck them into the space between Makoto’s, long and slender and smooth. It felt so good, such a relief, honestly, to finally just...be touching her again.

Ann broke first. She snorted, unable to hold it in any longer, bubbling over with a series of giggles that kept dipping back into embarrassing snorts.

Infectious, as always. Makoto felt herself giggling back, and the two of them devolved completely, sitting next to each other with huge goofy smiles, holding hands under the water.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, both of the songs are from Gravity Falls, don't @ me, haha


End file.
